The Meds Made Me Do It Defense

Chauncey DePew, a Kansas attorney, harassed not one, but five assistants in just two years. He claims the medicine he was taking for low testosterone made him do it.

In addition to the meds-made-me-do-it defense, Chauncey said that,”he didn’t view his behavior as wrong because he was friends with most of the women he was accused of harassing and was only joking around.”

He does criminal defense, and I really think there is something about criminal law that makes a man crave anal. Chauncey asked one of the assistants if he could “lick her butt.”

Friends don’t ask friends to lick their asses, Chauncey. The court didn’t go for either excuse and suspended him for a year.

Ethan Haines Hunger Strike Update

I just received an email from Ethan Haines, who is on a hunger strike to protest the lack of transparency in law school employment statistics:

JJD,
Just wanted to update you on my status. Today is officially the 8th day of my hunger strike and I have lost 8 pounds – one pound per day. I am still in good physical shape and will continue my hunger strike until I receive a response from law school administrators or my body gives in, whichever comes first. If you need any additional information, I have posted a few new items to my website including a statement regarding my first appearance in the very near future. Thank you again for your interest.

IL Candidate: Close Down 2 Law Schools

Forget George Clooney, I have a new crush. Scott Summers, who is running for Illinois state treasurer, says that Illinois could save money by eliminating two of its three state law schools.

Summers went to Northern Illinois University Law, but thinks it should be shut down along with Southern Illinois:

“We have three public law schools,” Summers told the Daily Herald. “And another seven or eight private law schools and a whole bunch of unemployed lawyers and underemployed lawyers. How long can we as taxpayers continue to support this?” Summers said the state “got by just fine” with one public law school, at the University of Illinois, until SIU’s law school opened in 1973.

It’s a very special man who tries to shut down his alma mater. You go, Scott Summers. Call me, let’s have lunch…

Sad Tales

Any OLs out there who think having a law degree will bring you success and happiness should read the comment below that was posted by a reader last week. If that doesn’t convince you that having a JD doesn’t help you find success and happiness, maybe the obituary about the Reed Smith partner will.

From a reader:

I am close to the end of my rope. I received 4 rejection emails today alone. Though I am grateful that they even took the time to update me on their hiring decision as most employers don’t even bother. But seriously WTF am I supposed to do? My car may be repo’d any fucking day now, my car insurance will be canceled for nonpayment on Friday, my daughter’s 8th birthday is tomorrow and my credit is SCREWED. No one will hire me. NO ONE. Government, legal, nonlegal, nonprofit not a soul. I’ve even tried taking the JD off but still no luck. I’ve done doc review but the projects keep ending abruptly after only a week or two. I don’t qualify for unemployment. I’ve already sold all of the gold I own (seriously) and was paid a whooping $132 for it. That was 2 months ago. I’ve never been so desperate in my life. This shit is depressing. Thx for letting me vent.

Death of Reed Smith Practice Leader Struck by Train Ruled a Suicide

A senior partner at Reed Smith committed suicide last week, dying of multiple injuries after being struck by a commuter train in Chicago.

Stewart Dolin was a corporate and securities partner who headed practice groups. He was 57 years old. Dolin headed the United States corporate and securities practice at Reed Smith.

Dolin was struck by a CTA train at a Blue Line station in the downtown Chicago Loop at about 1:45 p.m. on July 15. The Cook County medical examiner’s office ruled his death a suicide.

Still time to drop out and get a full refund.

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