Sad Tales

Any OLs out there who think having a law degree will bring you success and happiness should read the comment below that was posted by a reader last week. If that doesn’t convince you that having a JD doesn’t help you find success and happiness, maybe the obituary about the Reed Smith partner will.

From a reader:

I am close to the end of my rope. I received 4 rejection emails today alone. Though I am grateful that they even took the time to update me on their hiring decision as most employers don’t even bother. But seriously WTF am I supposed to do? My car may be repo’d any fucking day now, my car insurance will be canceled for nonpayment on Friday, my daughter’s 8th birthday is tomorrow and my credit is SCREWED. No one will hire me. NO ONE. Government, legal, nonlegal, nonprofit not a soul. I’ve even tried taking the JD off but still no luck. I’ve done doc review but the projects keep ending abruptly after only a week or two. I don’t qualify for unemployment. I’ve already sold all of the gold I own (seriously) and was paid a whooping $132 for it. That was 2 months ago. I’ve never been so desperate in my life. This shit is depressing. Thx for letting me vent.

Death of Reed Smith Practice Leader Struck by Train Ruled a Suicide

A senior partner at Reed Smith committed suicide last week, dying of multiple injuries after being struck by a commuter train in Chicago.

Stewart Dolin was a corporate and securities partner who headed practice groups. He was 57 years old. Dolin headed the United States corporate and securities practice at Reed Smith.

Dolin was struck by a CTA train at a Blue Line station in the downtown Chicago Loop at about 1:45 p.m. on July 15. The Cook County medical examiner’s office ruled his death a suicide.

Still time to drop out and get a full refund.

Ex-Associate Takes Down Blog

Ed Heyburn, a former associate at a New Jersey law firm who started a blog, Levinson Axelrod Really Sucks, has taken his blog down as part of a settlement with Levinson Axelrod.

I never read this blog, a shame because it sounds funny. I hope they paid him well. Unfortunately we’ll never know, the agreement is confidential.

He managed to get in a few barbs before removing it, saying that one of the partners, “had a mustache reminiscent of a 1970s porn star.” The blog also “celebrated Levinson Axelrod losses and encouraged readers to file legal ethics complaints against the firm.”

I’m guessing it’s not going to be easy for him to find another job.

Follow the 99 Cent Lead

I still think this is a good deal, but the 99 Cents Only Stores are getting sued for raising their prices to 99.99 cents. The class-action suits were filed in Los Angeles claiming unfair and deceptive business practices and misleading advertising.

Now that’s an idea for all of us who went to TT and TTT who were told 98% of graduates make $160,000 and based our decisions and ability to repay loans on those figures.

The 99 Cent Store at least made an effort to disclose:

Eric Schiffer, chief executive of the retailer, told the Times that the company “took every possible effort and avenue to basically bombard the consumer about our increase.” Signs have been changed, large posters are in store windows, and ads have been changed in newspapers.

I took a walk by 3 different TTTs in New York. None of them had signs that mention the employment decrease or the amount of unemployed lawyers. They are still saying everyone is getting a job. Those magical, fictional jobs where lawyers are happy and spend lots of time in court.

The attorney for the class action explained their position:

“If they call themselves 99 Cents Only, it should be 99 cents,” he said. “The people who go to that store are typically lower income or seniors, so the people they’re taking advantage of are the ones least able to discern the difference and least able to afford it.”

So, if they call themselves a law school that has a 98% employment rate 6 months after graduation, sounds like the law schools are taking advantage of the ones the least able to know that they are lying.

I think we should follow the the 99 cent lead. The only way the law schools will stop lying to prospective students is if they are forced to by a court.

More Funny Numbers

Alex Barnett was working as an attorney doing class actions until he got laid off. He is now doing contract work to pay the bills and stand-up comedy to try and switch careers. Sadly, the odds of getting a TV show are probably better now than getting a gig as an attorney.

He’s smart to try alternative careers. The National Association for Law Placement reported that only 71 percent of the class of 2009 got jobs that require JDs. That number seems funny to me, I’d say it’s probably more in the 21 percent range, and only because I’m feeling generous today.

The article notes that there is a huge oversupply of lawyers, and what the blogs have been saying for months, there are no jobs:

This is true even at major BigLaw firms: Despite a bankruptcy practice that reportedly is booming, the New York office of Weil Gotshal & Manges, for instance, hired only 20 summer associates this year, down from 96 last year.

If you’ve come up with an alternate career and left the law, or know someone who has, write in and let me know so I can post it to give everyone some ideas, and possibly, a little hope for a better future.

Beauty Doing Time

I’m sure she’s probably a spoiled brat, and I shouldn’t feel sorry for Lindsay, but I do. Or maybe it’s just guilt because I couldn’t stop staring at her tits during the movie Mean Girls. She’s fired or lost another lawyer; had to take the first one back, and is now stuck in jail.

Why does Lindsay keep hiring OJ’s former lawyers? Will former OJ lawyer and Cardozo Casanova Barry Scheck be next? The good news is, if she hooks up with the large nosed Casanova, she might be able to get a movie of the week out of it: Beauty Blows The Beast has a nice ring to it.

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