Legal Sector At 1991 Lows

Guess I’m not the only jobless JD. Employment in New York’s legal sector has fallen to lows not seen since 1991, Law.Com reported.

This confirms why University of Michigan and other top students are only getting document review in India:

The labor data confirms earlier reports that law firms had dramatically scaled back their summer associate programs. Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom has 34 summer associates in New York, down from 102 in 2009. Weil, Gotshal & Manges meanwhile has 20, compared to 96 last year. A report by the National Association for Law Placement in May found New York firms reduced 2010 summer associate offers by 44 percent.

Litigation Happy Lawyer Sues Teens

I am the first to admit that I do not like children, and that means anyone under 18. When I see a child on the street in New York, my first thought is, why aren’t you in the suburbs where you belong? That being said, I wouldn’t haul them into court for behaving like children, but a trial lawyer in Delaware is.

Stuart Grant, a successful lawyer, is suing two recent high school graduates who allegedly attended his daughter Niki’s party at his house without an invitation. While at the party the teens went into the bedrooms and took his meds and a jug filled with coins. Not exactly big ticket items.

Because he wanted to show what a benevolent guy he is, Grant didn’t call the cops so that the teens wouldn’t have criminal records, no, the petty big hearted attorney went to the trouble of hiring a private investigator to track down those all important meds and jug o’ coins.

The vindictive prick Grant is going ahead with a lawsuit, asking for $6,000 in compensatory damages to cover the cost of the private investigator and the value of the missing items, and $10,000 from each of the two teens he’s suing to “make an example of them.” He even hired a private process server to go to one of the teen’s houses and serve him.

Well, all I can say to this guy is: You silly litigious prick, get yourself some more viagra meds, save a few more coins and fill up that jug, and then use the coins to pay for a lap dance and calm down. They’re kids, go sue someone your own age.

Friends Want Your Legal Advice, Just Not Your Bill

Two readers wanted to know why I’ve never written about how difficult clients can be. I don’t write about clients because I’ve never had one. But I do have friends constantly asking me for legal advice, they just don’t want to pay me for it. As every law student/lawyer knows, by Thanksgiving break of your first year you’ll start getting requests for free legal advice.

You will be asked to draft wills, listen to landlord/tenant complaints, divorce issues,etc. After a few drinks with your friends, one will pull you aside and whisper something like, “So if I meet someone in the bar, and they say they’re 21, and then after I sleep with her, I find out she’s 16, it’s the bar’s fault for not checking, right?”

It really doesn’t matter if you know the answer or not, because no matter what you tell them, you’re screwed. If you give them advice that they don’t want to hear, they’ll say they saw the same sort of thing on Boston Legal and the character didn’t get arrested on TV. If you tell them you don’t know the answer, your friends will get angry. But you’re a LAWYER, they will sputter, how could you not know?

I’ve decided there is the only one right answer when giving free legal advice. From now on, I will just smile and say, “It depends.”

Another Reason Not To Go Solo: Malpractice

Top defense lawyers Barry Scheck and Peter Neufeld give us another reason not to try to go solo: malpractice. The two lawyers messed up and missed a deadline a few years ago and got sued by a client. They had to pay $900,000 to the client. Ouch. That had to hurt.

For those of you considering solo practice and thinking about saving some money by skimping on malpractice insurance, you might want to think again.

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