Alejandro Calderon, Author at Noto Law School

Drug Crazed Lawyer Attacks Client

March 4, 2010 Alejandro Calderon General, Law School

A Minneapolis lawyer is on trial for raping a client, and not with his fees. This lawyer actually raped the client in his office, telling her that no one could hear her scream as he snorted coke.

The lascivious lawyer first tried to woo her with this classic line, “Girl, you fine as hell.” Smooth talker! Foreplay consisted of him grabbing her breast and saying, “Relax, girl, I’m the man. I’m plugged.” Well, what woman wouldn’t be in the mood after hearing that?

When she finally escaped, telling him a friend was waiting for her downstairs, he hid under his desk with his pants around his ankles. His defense? The victim stopped for cigarettes on the way to the hospital. Guess he figures if she wanted to smoke, she must have enjoyed it.

Not Child’s Play

March 3, 2010 Alejandro Calderon General

If only the plane had crashed, some unemployed TTT grads could have gotten some temp work. An irresponsible parent brought his kid to work and let him clear the planes for takeoff. I’m sure the parent found it “cute” and that he was doing no harm. What if the kid had screwed up? Is it still cute?

How about the parents in Brooklyn who insist on bringing their toddlers to bars? That’s right. Bars, the place you go to forget about the world and relax and maybe to get lucky. One bar, the Windsor Terrace, had the balls to ban babies in the bar. I couldn’t agree more, if I see puke in a bar, I’d like it to be mine, not some baby spitting up milk.

While kids annoying other customers in a bar simply ruins an evening, bringing them to work is something else. I saw them often at my law school, when the overpaid professors thought it would be fun to let the mini-lemmings run around the library, usually during exam period, completely unaware that someone paying over 40k a year in tuition has no desire to hear, “Mommy, look, everyone’s reading!”

Simple solution: just leave them at home.

The Numbers Don’t Lie: Offer Rate Lowest in 17 Years

March 3, 2010 Alejandro Calderon General

Everyone has been complaining about the job market, and the National Association for Law Placement has finally confirmed our worst fears. The offer rate for 2010 summer associate positions is the lowest they have reported in 17 years. Of course, acceptance rates have hit a new high. But wait, there’s more fun:

“This represents an enormous interruption in the usual recruiting and employment patterns that we have come to expect,” said NALP Executive Director Jim Leipold. “I don’t think anyone expects recruiting volumes to pick up significantly during 2010, though the worst does seem, we hope, to be behind us.

Harvard Law Graduates Get a Taste Of TTT Life

March 2, 2010 Alejandro Calderon General

Harvard graduates are getting a taste of toilet water. Many Harvard Law grads did not get offers this year. This was in The Harvard Law Record, Harvard Law School’s paper:

So we studied, and we subcited, and we networked, and we keycited, and we summer associated. And employers looked at our grades, and our journals, and our work product, and our work ethic, and said, “We don’t want you.” We came from Harvard, and they were nonetheless unimpressed. Something about us was so unappealing that it outweighed the appeal of having another Harvard graduate at the firm.

Southern Judge Disbarred For Paddling Inmates

March 1, 2010 Alejandro Calderon General

Seems the stereotypes in the movie Cousin Vinny weren’t too far off. An Alabama judge was disbarred today for paddling inmates and talking to inmates without their lawyers present. While I understand why the judge wouldn’t want an audience for his S&M sessions, he really should have known not to talk to the inmates without their attorneys present.

Jurors acquitted Thomas last October on some charges related to the spankings, and a judge threw out other charges after the jury could not reach a consensus. The charges included sodomy, sex abuse and assault. Prosecutors had claimed Thomas paddled defendants in exchange for leniency. Thomas’ attorney had argued he shouldn’t be convicted on the word of 11 convicted felons